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  • Zak

Why the family you chose is better than the family you have

Updated: May 24, 2023

It's a difficult concept for many to grasp because we often believe that family is supposed to be the foundation of love, support, and understanding. However, the reality is that not all families are like that. In fact, some families can be toxic and detrimental to our well-being.

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The people we surround ourselves with have a significant impact on our lives. This includes our immediate family members, who can influence how we see ourselves and how we interact with the world around us. If our family members are constantly negative towards us, it can put us in a negative mindset. We may end up projecting this negativity onto others or, even worse, internalizing it and believing that we are not worthy or deserving of love and happiness.

The Importance of asking yourself this question

So, it's crucial to ask ourselves: who is in our circle and how are they influencing us? If we find that our family members are toxic and constantly bring us down, it's important to remember that we don't have to settle for such negativity. Just because they are family doesn't mean we have to tolerate harmful bullshit behaviour.

No matter who it is, F#*K TOXIC PEOPLE

Family is not solely defined by blood relations. It is about the people who love, support, and uplift us. Sometimes, the family we choose can be more important than the family we are born into. Let me give you an example: I once met a young woman who was constantly belittled and treated as an inconvenience by her own family. She was the black sheep, while her brother was the golden child who could do no wrong. This treatment took a toll on her self-esteem and how she viewed the world. However, she eventually met someone outside of her family who became a positive influence in her life. This person gave her the love, attention, and support she had been craving. They provided her with everything she needed to succeed and thrive in life.

A social contagion

Just like a contagious disease spreads from person to person, social contagion also exists within families. Positive contagion can inspire and motivate each member, teaching love and acceptance simply by showing it to one another. On the other hand, negative contagion can manifest as destructive patterns, such as unhealthy conflict resolution or the normalization of harmful behaviours. If you find yourself in a toxic and harmful family environment, remember that you are not alone, and you should not force yourself to stay in such a relationship.

It is your Choice

Choosing your own family means surrounding yourself with people who genuinely care about your well-being. These individuals may not be related to you by blood, but their love and support can be more powerful than any biological connection. It's essential to prioritize your mental and emotional health and distance yourself from toxic influences. Surround yourself with people who uplift you, inspire you, and bring out the best in you. Remember, you have the power to choose the family that supports and loves you unconditionally. Sometimes, the family you choose can be the key to your happiness and success in life.

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